he first evidence of guilt was the way she
turned up at the cabin that day in early summer. She walked past
the flowers that stained the grass blue and yellow under the Maine
sky, wide and shallow and ice blue. I was in the kitchen reading,
and the wind blew from the south through the open window and through
all the rooms, seeking out the last smells and shadows of spring,
and the new summer grazed my skin with a warm whisper, its first
word. I rose from the armchair when I heard her: my face had
been buried in a book and now it filled the glass as I watched.
Some hens ran after each other in the sunlight
under the smell of burning pine and past the truck. I stepped
out onto the porch under smoke that swept down from the chimney.
She said, I was in
the area. I don’t know, I got lost I
think.
It
made perfect sense to me then, as if she had just raised her wrist
with a watch on it and told me the time of day in the middle of
the street back in the town.
If
that’s so, I said, why don’t you come in then and have some of the tea.
To
her the walls must have looked like they were made out of books,
leather that stretched along the eye. I walked behind her to
the sink and watched the house fit around her as she stood under
the door frame that separated the large first room from the second.
She glanced at the oak floor and the wood stove, watched the fountain
outside the small side window: a bird wriggled through the water.
She whispered how few of the paintings had people in them,
the ones on the walls hung by my father and grandfather, one a
brown landscape of bare trees, others of seashores, gardens, haystacks,
climbing above the bookshelves.
I
went off to play a record, some piano music. I should have pressed
my question at once about this sudden visit. Outside it fell
down some short rain, the flowers dripped, and the notes dripped
from the bedroom, a tune by Satie from my father’s days. I poured
the boiling water onto the tea bags and handed her a mug with
a spoon.
You
haven’t changed much, she said.
I
said, I don’t think we’ve met.
No,
it’s my sister. She was a few classes behind you in school when
you went there. She described you.
Though
it made little sense, it was what she said. When the shower ended
the sun shone through the wet glass and warmed the red roofs in
one of the paintings. I wondered why she got lost here and not
somewhere else but did not want to ask, since people usually choose
the place they get lost in and she must have had her reasons.
Anyway I had much of the rest of the day free, and all that was
left was to run into the town and pick up carrots and fish and
some bread.
Was
I rude to just turn up like this, she said.
I
asked her what other way there was to turn up.
Her
car was in the woods, she said, a half mile away where the road
was still wide enough: she wanted to go for a long walk today
and kept going. She had to go home now. That must have been
her first mission, to see the cabin, to count how many lived here,
a short count as it turned out.
I
told her I would bring her back as this was no forest for walking
in once evening made its way through the trees, even in summer.
The odd large creature made its way across the river from Canada and might not take well to the surprise.
We made our way under the leaves, mostly in silence along a brown
line that wound itself into the undergrowth. The way was narrow
enough to tell me that the last part of the journey had been too
close for her to drive: the branches touched each other across
it. In the truck it was just a matter of keeping going for the
half mile through everything. It was clever of her I suppose,
to keep her car where it would not be seen.
She
did not know where to turn, so I offered to drive it out of the
lane for her. I was bent around the wheel as it was one of those
small cars, and my head bounced off the roof. She laughed. I
must say it was funny all right, you get in and turn the key and
then your head hits the roof as if you were the one started and
not the car.
To
the Saint John’s Road, she said, and pointed me back, saying left
and right, the particular way she came, though I knew a shorter
way myself. Her map was not local. I estimated by the route
she took that she had come twenty miles from Fort Kent, though
we were twelve miles as the crow flies from that town. They flew
above us black and cawing over the trees.
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