r. Dees
On
the night it happened — July 5 — the sun didn't set
until 8:33. I went back later and checked the weather cartoon
on the Evening Register's front page: a smiling face
on a fiercely bright sun. I checked because it was the heart of
summer, and I couldn't stop thinking about that long light and
all the people who were out in it; I'd seen them sitting on porches,
drinking Pepsis and listening to WTHO's Top Fifty Countdown on
transistor radios. I knew they were getting a laugh out of Peanuts
or Hi and Lois in the newspaper, thrilling to the adventures
of Steve Canyon. Cars were driving along High Street-Trans-Ams
and GTOs, Mustangs and Road Runners, Chargers and Barracudas.
Some of them were on their way to the drive-in theater east of
town — a twin bill, Summer of '42 and Bless
the Beasts and Children. Others went downtown. Teenage boys
were ducking into the Rexall or the new Super Foodliner to pick
up a pack of Marlboros or Kools. Couples were strolling around
the courthouse square, lollygagging after supper at the Coach
House or a steak and a cold beer at the Top Hat Inn. They were
window-shopping, the ladies admiring the new knee-high boots at
Bogan's Shoe Store, high school girls looking at the first wire-rim
glasses at Blank's Optical, the flared-leg pantsuits at Helene's
Dress Shop, the friendship bracelets and engagement sets at Lett's
Jewelry.
Enough
time and opportunity, and yet no one could stop what was going
to happen.
We
were just an itty-bitty town in Indiana, on the flat plain beyond
the rolling hills of the Hoosier National Forest — a glassworks
town near the White River, which twisted and turned to the southwest
before emptying into the Wabash and running down to the Ohio.
That day, a Wednesday, the temperature had gotten up to ninety-three
and the humidity had settled in and left everyone limp with trying.
The air held in the smell of heat from the furnaces at the glassworks,
the dead fish stink from the river, the sounds of people's living:
ice cubes clinking in glasses, car mufflers rattling, screen doors
creaking, mothers calling children to come in.
In
the evening, when the breeze picked up enough to stir the leaves
on the courthouse lawn's giant oaks and dusk started to fall,
the air cooled just enough to make us forget how hot and unforgiving
the day had been. After the hours spent working at the glassworks
or the stone quarry or the gravel pit, people were glad to be
moving about at their own pace, taking their time, letting the
coming dark and the rustle of air convince them that soon there
might be rain and then the heat would break. I was content to
sit at the kitchen table, noodling around with the story problems
I planned to use the next day with my summer students, one of
whom was Katie Mackey.
Later,
there would be a few folks who would step up and say they had
something maybe the police ought to know. Their names would be
in the newspapers-papers as far away as St. Louis and Chicago
— and on the Terre Haute and Indianapolis television stations,
people who would be in the notebooks of all the magazine writers
who'd come — slick-talking out-of-towners with questions.
Newshounds from Inside Detective, Police Gazette.
They'd want to know how to find so-and-so.
I've
never been able to tell this story and my part in it until now,
but listen, I'll say it true: a man can live with something like
this only so long before he has to make it known. My name is Henry
Dees, and I was a teacher then — a teacher of mathematics
and a summer tutor for the children like Katie who needed such
a thing. I'm an old man now, and even though more than thirty
years have gone by, I still remember that summer and its secrets,
and the way the heat was and how the light stretched on into evening
like it would never leave. If you want to listen, you'll have
to trust me. Or close the book; go back to your lives. I warn
you: this is a story as hard to hear as it is for me to tell.
illey
We were eating supper. That's what I remember, the four of us
sitting at the table: Mom and Dad and me and Katie. It was just
a night like that, a summer night, and pretty soon Katie would
finish her lemon sherbet and ask to be excused and then run up
the street to find her friend Renee Cherry. That's what would
have happened. I've known it all these years. Renee and Katie
would have made up, said they were sorry about the quarrel they'd
had that morning, and played until dark, when Mom would have called
my sister in.
But
before any of that could happen, I said, "Katie didn't take
back her library books."
I
was still mad at her because sometime that afternoon she had gone
into my room and listened to my Carole King album, Tapestry, and
left a scratch on the "It's Too Late" track so it stuck
on the chorus — "Too late, too late, too late"
— and I wanted to pay her back. I wanted to see her get
in Dutch with Dad, who had warned her about keeping library books
past the due date. "Good golly, Little Miss Katie,"
he'd told her at breakfast. "If you're not careful, you'll
be living a life of crime." We knew we were a family that
people noticed, envied even, for our wealth and my father's influence
in our town. Our family had owned Mackey Glass for years, and
my father always told us we had to be careful not to screw up,
not to give anyone a reason to think less of us. "If the
police come looking for you," he said to Katie, "I'll
tell them we tried our best to bring you up right, but you wouldn't
listen. Now, I mean it, Katie. Take those books back today."
But
she didn't. She and Renee spent all morning on the front porch.
They were there when I was getting ready for work. I was seventeen
that summer, and I was a clerk and stock boy at the J. C. Penney
store downtown. I was standing in front of my dresser mirror,
knotting my necktie, and I could hear Katie and Renee in the porch
swing. The chains creaked as the swing moved back and forth. Katie
and Renee were playing their favorite game — It's Gotta
Go — where they made choices between things that they dearly
loved. Pepsi or Coke, spaghetti or macaroni, Little Dot or Little
Lulu, puppies or kittens, Barbie or Skipper, "You Can't Roller
Skate in a Buffalo Herd" or "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh,"
Christmas or your birthday. Making a choice was heartbreaking
and took hours. Often they'd end up bawling. They'd hug each other
and agree that it was necessary. If it wasn't hard, it wouldn't
matter. It proved how much they really loved the things they said
they'd let go.
Renee's
mother, Margot, claimed to have ESP. The sixth sense, she called
it. A sign in front of her house said, will tell you your entire
life without asking a single question. I'd gone to her earlier
that summer. Just for a kick. She held my hands, turned them over,
and traced the lines in my palms. "You will be chosen,"
she told me. "Soon a light will find you. Don't look away."
On
the porch, Katie and Renee were trying to decide between The
Partridge Family and The Brady Bunch: one of them
had to go. Katie said that Keith Partridge was dreamier than Greg
Brady, but she'd much rather be friends with Marcia than with
Laurie Partridge. Marcia was just so cute, and her hair was perfect;
Laurie was too skinny, and Katie was fairly certain that she didn't
really know how to play that electric piano. Renee, who usually
took her cues from Katie, said yes, that was true, but who wouldn't
choose Peter Brady over Danny Partridge?
"Maybe
I wouldn't," Katie said.
The
swing's chains stopped creaking; someone, maybe Renee, dragged
her feet over the porch floor. "You can't mean that,"
she said, and she sounded very serious, like a grown-up. "You've
got to be kidding. Danny instead of Peter? No way. Danny isn't
nice."
I
finished knotting my tie and went over to look out the window.
A robin was parading around the lawn. The grass, still wet from
the sprinkler, sparkled in the sunlight. The petunias in my mother's
flower bed smelled sweet; their pink and red and white petals
ruffled in the breeze.
"I
think he's funny," Katie said.
"He's
not funny," said Renee. "He's retarded."
"What
about me?" Katie was getting worked up, the way she did sometimes.
She could be a drama queen, in love with the spotlight. The day
before, she'd worn sunglasses and posed on the stone bench in
our backyard so I could take her picture with my Polaroid camera.
I knew her eyes were wide open now as she faced Renee, and her
cheeks were filled with air. When she got like that, I told her
she looked like Porky Pig. "I'm funny," she said to
Renee. "I always make you laugh when I do my Donald Duck
voice. Isn't that funny?"
"No,
it's retarded."
"You're
the retarded one," Katie said.
For
a good while neither of them said anything. The only sound was
the wind through the trees. Then Renee said, "Maybe I should
just go home now."
Katie
agreed. "Maybe you should."
"Do
you want me to go?"
"If
that's what you want."
"All
right. I guess you want me to go."
So
Renee left, and Katie ran into the house bawling, and she never
got around to taking her books back to the library. She ruined
my new record instead, and even though I wanted to feel sorry
for her because she'd had that fight with Renee, I couldn't, and
I said what I did, and Dad blew his top.
"Katie."
He leaned across the table and shook a finger at her. "What
did I tell you?"
She
jumped up from her chair. "I'm going to take them back right
now." She was wearing a pair of orange shorts and a black
T-shirt. Her brown hair, lightened from the sun, was combed off
her forehead and pinned with gold barrettes. "The library's
open until seven o'clock. I've got plenty of time."
She
never even stopped to put on sandals. They were right there at
the back door, but she didn't put them on. I thought about stopping
her. I thought about saying, "Katie, your sandals."
But I didn't. She was barefoot, and she swung open the screen
door. She threw her library books into her bicycle basket and
I watched her stand up on the pedals until she reached the top
of the hill. Then she sat down and bent over her handlebars, and
her long hair flew out behind her, and I watched her until she
was gone.
